What do you sense that God is speaking to you right now?
I heard Father say that this year is going to be uncomfortable. I heard Him say, “Discomfort is something you will manage, but I will be there.”
Do you hear the difference in that? He didn’t say, “It’s going to be perfect and it’s going to be fine and everybody’s going to be great.”
A big part of our journey has been learning about problems. Graham Cooke talks a lot about how problems are something to embrace; because there will always be a problem, a promise, and then provision. In the past, we were always trying to look for ways to increase our provision. Whether it was through jobs or working through our own stuff, it was us trying to figure out where the provision would come. Now we’re so focused on our relationship with Father as the provider, that our hope and trust and faith is way bigger than it was 35 years ago.
Part of that comes from the transition we’re going through with UChurch, which is really exciting. Right now in our community it feels like we’re all in some sort of PHD program; it’s both ‘head heavy’ and ‘heart heavy’, but I wouldn’t change anything about it. The uncomfortable parts, the difficult parts… it even applies to the awkwardness of the church not being as predictable as it was in the past. Are you flexible right now? It’s going to be a little challenging. Life is not going to be perfect; we will always have to confront things that are hard. He wants to remove this whole way of thinking: “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” Which leads to anxiety. Or, we try to plan out our responses. Like, “Ok, I can deal with that. I can deal with that. I can deal with that.”
Instead, now we just get into His presence and soak; we just soak in His love.
–Jacquie
How has your intimacy with God changed things in your everyday lives?
It’s really all about how our relationship with Father has changed us. We’re kinder to each other now, for one. When you experience Father’s love, people are attracted to you. It’s not about you, it’s about what Father is radiating out of you. It’s really incredible to me, how through the love of Father our other relationships blossom.
There’s a two-year-old girl who lives next door who just invited me to her birthday. Her mom had to stop the car, unbuckle her from her car seat and carry her over just so she could run around and hug me! But it’s just the love of Father. I open my garage door and people stop by to talk all the time. There’s another couple next door who have a baby, and on Christmas they came by with cookies and she said, “I’m getting married today! We’re having a party - would you like to come?” It’s not important that they had a baby first, then got married, or that they’re not getting married in a church or any of that! It’s about them coming over and inviting us to celebrate!
–Doug
Something else I’ve learned is that we don’t ask Him to come, He is here; all day, at work, everyday. With what I do - I work with very traumatized kids - and honestly, you cannot connect spiritually with them if you’re not in the presence of God. You’ve got to be in His presence all the time.
–Jacquie
Exactly, it’s just knowing that He is here. You don’t have to say anything; He is always present. Back when we lived in Thunder Bay, Ontario, we lived way out in the country. At the time I worked out in Prince George, so my commute was a 31-hour drive. I’d leave at 2 AM, and every time I did I would walk around our house and pray the blood of Jesus over it. These 65 or 70-foot Jack pines trees surrounded our house, and one morning this angel came up to me from the shadows of the pines. He said, “What are you doing?” I said, “I’m praying the blood of Jesus over this house.” He just looked at me and said, “You prayed that years ago. We have not left. We’re standing here protecting your family right now.”
I think that receiving the love of God is the realization of God, here, now. He’s here! We can go to Him at any point and say, “I messed up right here. How can you correct it? Or how can you make good of it?”
Recently I got this one perfect job, but how many jobs before have I failed at or blew it? He still loves me; He still blesses me and provides for me. That’s love.
–Doug
This new job has been a huge answer to prayer for your family - can you talk about it a bit more?
The job I have now, it’s a job in a place where I never thought there would be paid work. I mean, I used to volunteer for this place for years. In the end it’s not even about the job, it’s about love. He wants to take care of us, and He showed us that. It’s definitely not about Doug Mickelson or Jacquie Mickelson. It’s about God saying, “You’re a Son, you’re a Daughter. Allow me to place you where I want to place you. Even then, it’s alright to go to other places along this journey, because I love you.”
–Doug
Exactly. The Father’s love is so defining that you can release any of the old identities you were striving to maintain. For us, at one point we were in bankruptcy. Doug had experienced months and months and months with no employment, or low employment. Companies had taken advantage of him. We had to declare that is not our identity - Father is in charge! It didn’t look hopeful many times, but because of God’s love that wasn’t our identity. That was earth shattering for us!
–Jacquie
It’s different now. I’m learning the difference between giving up and letting go... When I had cancer and was trying to run a company and keep my family afloat, that’s when I wanted to give up; I was ready to die. Now I don’t ‘give up’; I’m ‘giving it up’. Before, I was giving it up to whoever would take it. Now I’m giving it up and saying, “You know what…I don’t understand this: how You still love me unconditionally. But here, it’s yours, God.”
–Doug
There’s this new sense of peace now, a peace that we can maintain. Before it was like, we’d have some assurance, we knew that for a while we’d be ok. But now… there’s this deep peace that we can’t disrupt, even if we tried. Exodus 14:14 says God will fight your battles if you keep your peace.
Now we’re keeping our peace, even in the problems.
That is one big thing in our lives that people [in church culture] don’t seem to understand; why Doug isn’t healed. They don’t get why he still has to go through treatments. But we don’t look at it like that! You’re so open to receive [when you’re sick]. That’s the hardest part with God: learning to receive and this whole process of waiting. It’s also recognizing His favour in the little, tiny things. We have a car starter, and it’s -50 Celsius outside! I have new boots that keep me warm!
–Jacquie
You guys talk a lot about experiencing Father, here and now. Can you expand on that?
I think it’s finding Him in the little things and the little moments. Joy doesn’t bring gratitude; gratitude brings joy. We are living in waves of gratitude for all Father has done for us. The two-year old next door, I don’t even know her, but she loves me! She’ll come over all the time just to play. One day this winter I walked over and put a top hat on her snowman - I thought no one was watching. Suddenly I heard this tapping on the window, and it turns out the whole family had seen what I did. The lady across the street saw me, too! It’s stuff like that; we’re just being thankful in the little things. Sometimes we shovel the whole driveway and the sidewalk of our neighbour (she just had a baby and he works out of town). We don’t do it so people think the Mickelson’s are so great, but we do it to love them with Father’s love. It’s not about saving 5,000 people; it’s about the little kid across the street. It’s not about having a bible study and inviting all our neighbours; it’s about loving them. Whether it’s cutting down a tree together or just saying hi. I think that’s what Father’s about- the little things. He can do it all; He can part the sea! But He’s about the little things.
–Doug
Is He in the big things, too?
Yes, I think so! In the last year and a half Father has really revealed that He designed us to dream, to dream and to love things! Whether it’s surfing or driving an all-terrain vehicle in the mountains or sailing or whatever. That’s the cool part about this whole thing - that’s the way He designed us and created us! So now we’ve been really praying for alignment. The ability to turn around and say, “Thank you for creating me to dream… but Your dreams are so much bigger than mine. Reveal them! How can I align my dreams with Your dreams?”
This new job I got, for instance, I’m still in awe. I’m 56 years old, and a lot of people said it was going to be hard to find another job at my age. Honestly, I did have some fears, but now the fear about doing the work is gone. Because Father does the work! While we rest, He works. And His work fulfills our wildest dreams… For example, I had a great aunt who owned this gorgeous home; it was built by my great uncle and worth probably over 2 million. It was 14 acres and overlooking Lake Superior, and she had created this incredible B&B and retreat center. At the time, Jacquie and I really connected with her, and our dream was to repurpose it as a home for single moms and babies. To make a long story short, she wanted to sell it. She offered us an amazing deal, but we had just started out…
–Doug
...When we got married, Doug was sick and in the Toronto hospital for almost 6 months. Neither of us could work, and I was pregnant with Jordan. So with no income coming in, we were really living from one miracle to another...
–Jacquie
...Right! We had no money at all, so we had to pass it up. Now, fast-forward 35 years, and I didn’t have to buy that house! God gave me my dream job working in a similar space, but better yet it’s working with families. It’s people living through hard situations, a lot like what Jacquie and I lived through. You can’t orchestrate those types of things without God intervening with His love. You could say, “Well it’s about the job. Or, “Doug’s got a great job.” But it’s so much more than that! Jacquie has been waiting for her current job for 5 years; it’s her dream job. (Nobody else would want it, but she loves it)! [And as for our kids…] Jordan recently got invited back into his old job, he’s right where he belongs. Jake’s moving onto a new job – and he’s doing good. It’s all these situations that were taken from our family that are now being restored.
–Doug
There is huge restoration in the kingdom with Father right now! Our future daughter-in-law often jokes about the “Mickelson favour...”
–Jacquie
...But it isn’t just the Mickelson favour, it’s favour from Father. It’s the kind of thing you don’t take for granted, but when you step back and look at it, it’s like, “Wow.”
–Doug
While you rest, He works. We’re really into resting with Father; rest is so empowering!
–Jacquie
I love napping, especially when I’m overwhelmed with all the things I’m supposed to be doing. I also love to drive...
–Doug
…Sometimes he starts weeping and he has to pull over because Father’s talking to him. That started happening probably 4 years ago. We also used to soak before we called it ‘soaking.’ We used to call it “getting in the river”. If things were blowing up in our house, or our kids were losing it, we would open up the front and the back door, blast worship music, and lay on the ground. We’d just let everything out.
–Jacquie
Now we just keep praying for alignment. When you’re connecting Spirit to Spirit, it’s like copper flowing. You know when electricity goes through the wire? You never see it, but copper is flowing. That’s what happens when we’re in alignment with Him.
It makes me sort of wish I were your [younger] generation. To be here at your age. To be experiencing the Kingdom: outside and inside, right now.
–Doug